儿子小时候在爷爷奶奶身边长大,我和老公也没多少教育孩子的经验。自从儿子回到我们身边,我们教育小孩的矛盾、纠葛便层出不穷,甚至“战争”不断。例如,每次小孩取得好成绩的时候,孩子他爸就要给他买礼物作为奖励,但我觉得激励的关键是内在精神方面的奖励而不是物质,一旦形成物质奖励的怪圈,往往会将小孩原本内心寻求优秀的无形的动机变成外化的物质形式,变得非常功利。还譬如,在孩子 My son grew up in the grandparents as a child, my husband and I did not have much education of children’s experience. Since our son came back to us, we have been able to educate our children about conflicts and conflicts, and even “war” continues. For example, every time a child achieves good grades, his father will give him a gift as a reward, but I think the key to motivation is intrinsic spiritual reward rather than materiality. Once a material reward circle is formed, the child It has become very utilitarian that the original invisible motives of seeking inward transformation become material forms of externalization. Also for example, children