【名师画板】读罢徐字凡的习作原文,感受颇多。一来拟题很有创意,将自己内心的感受以一句改编后的歌词呈现出来,很真实。这是值得学习的地方,但也存在一定的不足:用词不当、句子顺序颠倒……用词准确、语句通顺,这是写好作文必练的基本功,鉴于此,我们要在细细品读的基础上,关注文中的错字、错词、病句,并合理地进行修改补充,文章才会尽善尽美。【习作原色】今儿,咱“老百姓”白高兴 [Famous drawing board] reading the word where the original writing, feel a lot. One to be a very creative topic, his own feelings to an adapted lyrics, it is very real. This is a place worth learning, but there are also some shortcomings: improper wording, the order of the sentences upside down ... words accurate, sentences fluent, which is a basic skill written essay, in view of this, we should read carefully Based on the attention of the text of the typo, the wrong words, disease sentences, and make reasonable modifications to add, the article will be perfect. 【Original color】 Today, we “people ” white happy