失误诊断这篇文章选材真实,叙事流畅,写景传情,初读会觉得此文写得不错。然而细心品读,此文有很多瑕疵,被判为三类文实在不屈。其不足之处主要表现在如下方面:1.文章铺垫不到位,情味大打折扣。“秘密基地”是如何发现的,它为何让小伙伴都惊呆了,为何要策划秘密前往,在前往的过程中小伙伴的表现如何……文章对此一笔带过,未能为后文绘景作有力铺垫,使得文章的情味大打折扣,缺少强烈的感染力。 Fault diagnosis This article is true material selection, fluent narrative, writing scene teaser, first reading will feel this article well written. However, careful reading, this article has many flaws, was sentenced to three types of text is unyielding. Its shortcomings mainly in the following areas: 1. article bedding is not in place, greatly reduced the taste. “Secret base ” is how to find it, why it is so small partners are shocked, why plan secrets to go in the process of going to the small partners how the performance of ... ... This article took this one, failed to post scenery For a strong bedding, making the article greatly reduced the taste, lack of strong appeal.