人狗情未了

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  The silence on the other end of the phone said it all.
  Finally, my father’s voice, a sound of reason for my then 19 years of life, began to speak.
  “George, I don’t think this is a very good idea.”
  He continued. I should not have adopted the 1)Golden retriever puppy who was, at the time, snuggled up asleep across my feet. Nineteen-year-old college sophomores who have just joined a 2)fraternity and teetered on expulsion from lack of studies don’t need another distraction. It’s not wise, and it’s not fair to the dog.
  His logic, as always, was 3)impeccable. But this time, something was different. He ended up being wrong.
  Something changed in me when Jumpin’
  4)Jasper bounded into my life. I won’t lie and say I suddenly woke up with a sense of responsibility suddenly enveloping my every breath. Nothing comes that easily.
  I had grown up in two middle-class homes where I was showered with love but, because of my parents’ divorce, had almost no responsibilities. No one expected me to do much more than take care of myself. I was not needed by anyone.
  Jasper whimpered through that first night. For the first few hours, I wondered whether I had erred. Was my father right?
  Sometime before the sun rose, I realized something. This little ball of fur needs me. I told myself, “Watson, you gotta get it together.”
  Feeding, exercise, training. These were my chores, and those were his needs I had to fulfill. There was more. My days of last-second trips were over. I had to make sure Jasper was welcome, too. And while he didn’t say much, he took part in every conversation about our future life together.
  How close was the nearest park to any potential apartments? Did the neighbors mind dogs? Did they have any unfriendly animals of their own?
  As Jasper aged, my concern became wondering if a potential home had too many stairs for him to climb. Was there an elevator?
  I must say, it really is something to be needed.
  And as Jasper taught me his lessons of life, I learned volumes about myself. I liked to help
  others. I gained a special satisfaction from helping those who couldn’t help themselves.
  I didn’t become a reporter because of Jasper, but he’s one reason why I have stuck with it for a dozen years and will likely continue for decades to come.
  Jasper passed away a year ago, 5)succumbing to a rapidly spreading cancer that turned my powerful and noble friend, for years the one consistent part of my life, into a frail, trembling shell of his former self.
  When the time came for a vet to help him reach his personal ending, he looked up at me one last time from the floor where I 6)crouched beside him. His beautiful brown eyes perked up for me and then closed forever. I had never cried—make that 7)blubbered—for anyone like I did for Jasper.
  I thought to myself, “I wish I had done more. I should have given him more brushings or the massages that he liked so much in his older years.”
  It was a final lesson. While it sounds cliche, I decided to drink in all that life offered, especially in friendship and personal relationships.
  The reality of his final lesson revisited me just this past weekend. My boss, a true 8)pillar of journa-lism named Lawrence Young, died at the age of 47 on Saturday of an apparent heart attack. He was my biggest advocate and as I have learned in recent days, a mentor for 9)legions of other journalists around the country.
  It’s how I can 10)stomach Lawrence’s death. He was always teaching, always pushing me for more. I 11)gobbled up his lessons, which he offered up over afternoon sessions in his office. Certainly, I wanted more from him, and of course, I never expected him to die so soon. My tears told me that.
  But however brief the time, Lawrence was there to touch my soul and fill my mind. I can only be glad I was so fortunate to have listened and learned as often as I did.
  
  电话那头的沉默已经说明了一切。
  最后,终于传来了我父亲的声音,对于当时才19岁的我来说,这是理性之声。
  他开口说道:“乔治,我觉得这可不是一个好主意。”
  他继续说,我不应该收养那只小狗,那只正蜷缩着睡在我脚上的金毛猎犬。像我这样的一个19岁大学二年级学生,刚刚参加了一个兄弟会,还因为不努力念书而徘徊在被开除出校的边缘,所以根本不应该再分心。那样做很不理智,对这只狗也不公平。
  他的逻辑理论总是无懈可击,但是这次有些不同了。最后事实也证明,他错了。
  自从活蹦乱跳的金毛猎犬“碧玉”闯进我的生活,我开始有些改变。但是我不会撒谎说,我突然惊醒,觉得强烈的责任感时刻包围着我。实际上,一切来之不易。
  我在两个中产阶级家庭里长大,而且也深受父母的疼爱,但是因为父母离异,我从小就没什么责任感。我只需要照顾好自己,没有人会对我要求更多。没有人需要我。
  在收养碧玉的头一天晚上,它呜呜地叫了一整夜。刚开始的几个小时里,我反复地思考自己是不是做错了。难道我父亲真的说对了?
  天亮之前的某一刻,我想明白了一些事情。这个小毛球需要我。我告诉自己:“沃森,你要让它好起来啊。”
  给它喂食,带它运动,训练它,这些成了我的日常事务,而这些是它的日常需要,我必须尽力满足。不仅如此,在最后时刻决定去旅行的时光也一去不复返了,我还要保证大家都喜欢碧玉。虽然它不怎么作声,但是在讨论我们将来在一起的生活时总少不了它。
  如果要搬家,最近的公园离新家有多远?周围的邻居介意我养狗吗?他们有没有养什么会伤害到狗狗的动物?
  随着碧玉越来越老,我要考虑的因素变成,新家的楼梯对于它来说会不会太多层了?那里有没有电梯呢?
  我不得不说,真的需要付出很多。碧玉教我它的生活教训,而我也越来越了解自己。我喜欢帮助他人,通过帮助那些自己无法解决困难的人,我会觉得特别满足。
  我不是因为碧玉才成为记者的,但是我坚守这个岗位十二年了,并且在未来的几十年很可能还会继续坚持下去,而碧玉就是我坚持的一个原因。
  一年前,碧玉去世了,死于癌症,这种迅速扩散的癌症把我这位强壮而矜贵的朋友——多年来我生活的一份子——折磨成一个羸弱的、颤抖的毛团,又回复到最初我收留它时的样子。
  当兽医要帮它终结一生的时候,它最后一次从地板上抬起头来,望着蹲在旁边的我。因为看着我,它美丽的棕色眼睛重新变得炯炯有神,然后永远地合上了。我为碧玉的死而嚎啕大哭,而我还从来没有因为谁而这样恸哭过。
  我想:“多么希望我之前能够为它多做点事啊。我应该多给它刷刷毛,多给它按摩按摩,它年老的时候那么喜欢我给它按摩。”
  这是碧玉教我的最后一课,虽然听上去有点陈词滥调,但是我决定享受生命赐予我的一切,尤其是友情、亲情和爱情。
  最后一课里的情景,在上个周末又再次重现。我的上司,劳伦斯•杨,一位名副其实的新闻界翘楚,在星期六突发心脏病去世,年仅47岁。他是给我启发最大的一个人,而且最近几天我才知道,他也是国内众多记者的良师益友。
  我难以承受劳伦斯的死。他无时无刻不在传授知识,促使我向前进取。午休时他在自己的办公室里教我知识,每次我都如饥似渴地吸收他的经验。固然,我渴望从他那里获得更多,同时,根本没想过他会这么早离开人世——这是我从眼泪中明白到的。
  然而,虽然时间很短暂,但是劳伦斯在那段时间里触动了我的灵魂,充实了我的头脑。我很幸运,之前有幸能尽可能多地听他传授知识,吸收他的经验。
  


  

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