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A
Nurse:There’s a man outside with a wooden leg named Smith.
Doctor:What’s the name of his other leg?
B
Patient:Doctor, if a person’s brain stops working, does he die?
Doctor:How can you ask such a stupid question? You’re alive, aren’t you?
C
Nell:I always get sick the night before I take a trip.
Bell:Then why don’t you leave a day earlier?
D
Father:How did Joe do on his history exam?
Mother:Not too well, but it wasn’t his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was even born.
E
Len:I’ve been in a city much foggier than London.
Ben:Where was that?
Len:It was too foggy to tell.
F
Joe:Did you visit the Black Sea on your world trip?
Moe:Sure did. I even filled my fountain pen there.
G
Rick:I’ve eaten beef all my life, and now I’m as strong as an ox.
Dick:That’s funny. I’ve eaten fish all my life, but I can’t even swim.
H
Teacher:Bob, can you explain inflation(通货膨胀)?
Bob:Sure. Every time my dad pays the bill(付钱), he blows up(发脾气). That’s inflation.
I
Husband (at airport):I wish we had brought the TV with us.
Wife:Why?
Husband:I left our tickets at home on top of it.
J
Harry:My big brother shaves(剃须) every day.
Henry:My brother shaves fifty times a day.
Harry:Is he crazy(古怪的,疯狂的)?
Henry:No, he’s a barber.
K
Teacher:Tell me the truth now. Who really did your homework?
Johnnie:My father.
Teacher:All alone?It’s all wrong.
Johnnie:Well, I helped him with it.
L
Son:Pop, will you give me ten cents for a poor man who’s crying outside?
Pop:OK, son, here it is. What’s he crying about?
Son:He’s crying,“Fresh roasted peanuts(炒花生),ten cents a bag.”
M
Old lady:Little girl, your brother has been crying for ten minutes. Can’t you cheer him up(使……高兴)?
Girl:Did you ever try to cheer up someone who has just eaten five bananas, three hot dogs and two ice-cream cones?
N
Teacher:Maths is a very exact(精确的)science. For example, if one man can build a garage in twelve days, twelve men can build it in one day.
Johnny:Then if one ship can cross the ocean in twelve days, I suppose twelve ships can cross it in one day.
O
Little boy:The grocer(杂货店主)said I could help myself to(自用) some candy, but I waited until he gave it to me himself.Mother:Why?
Little boy:His hand was bigger than mine.
P
Patient:Doctor, I’m having trouble with my memory. I can’t remember a thing.
Doctor:How long have you had this condition?
Patient:How long have I had what condition?
QTeacher:Jim, when was the great depression(美30年代大萧条)?
Jim:Last week when I got my report card(成绩单).
谜底:赵 易 远 月
Nurse:There’s a man outside with a wooden leg named Smith.
Doctor:What’s the name of his other leg?
B
Patient:Doctor, if a person’s brain stops working, does he die?
Doctor:How can you ask such a stupid question? You’re alive, aren’t you?
C
Nell:I always get sick the night before I take a trip.
Bell:Then why don’t you leave a day earlier?
D
Father:How did Joe do on his history exam?
Mother:Not too well, but it wasn’t his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was even born.
E
Len:I’ve been in a city much foggier than London.
Ben:Where was that?
Len:It was too foggy to tell.
F
Joe:Did you visit the Black Sea on your world trip?
Moe:Sure did. I even filled my fountain pen there.
G
Rick:I’ve eaten beef all my life, and now I’m as strong as an ox.
Dick:That’s funny. I’ve eaten fish all my life, but I can’t even swim.
H
Teacher:Bob, can you explain inflation(通货膨胀)?
Bob:Sure. Every time my dad pays the bill(付钱), he blows up(发脾气). That’s inflation.
I
Husband (at airport):I wish we had brought the TV with us.
Wife:Why?
Husband:I left our tickets at home on top of it.
J
Harry:My big brother shaves(剃须) every day.
Henry:My brother shaves fifty times a day.
Harry:Is he crazy(古怪的,疯狂的)?
Henry:No, he’s a barber.
K
Teacher:Tell me the truth now. Who really did your homework?
Johnnie:My father.
Teacher:All alone?It’s all wrong.
Johnnie:Well, I helped him with it.
L
Son:Pop, will you give me ten cents for a poor man who’s crying outside?
Pop:OK, son, here it is. What’s he crying about?
Son:He’s crying,“Fresh roasted peanuts(炒花生),ten cents a bag.”
M
Old lady:Little girl, your brother has been crying for ten minutes. Can’t you cheer him up(使……高兴)?
Girl:Did you ever try to cheer up someone who has just eaten five bananas, three hot dogs and two ice-cream cones?
N
Teacher:Maths is a very exact(精确的)science. For example, if one man can build a garage in twelve days, twelve men can build it in one day.
Johnny:Then if one ship can cross the ocean in twelve days, I suppose twelve ships can cross it in one day.
O
Little boy:The grocer(杂货店主)said I could help myself to(自用) some candy, but I waited until he gave it to me himself.Mother:Why?
Little boy:His hand was bigger than mine.
P
Patient:Doctor, I’m having trouble with my memory. I can’t remember a thing.
Doctor:How long have you had this condition?
Patient:How long have I had what condition?
QTeacher:Jim, when was the great depression(美30年代大萧条)?
Jim:Last week when I got my report card(成绩单).
谜底:赵 易 远 月