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Today， pollution becomes① a very serious problem. The air， seas， rivers and lands polluted by human beings are not only harmful to human beings but also to animals and plants.
We don’t have fresh air because many factories sent the poisonous smoke into the air. Fish die from the pollute② water. It is said that some strange diseases have appeared in some places because of pollution.
I hope scientists can take useful steps to solve the serious problem and everyone can make a contribution to protect③ our environment. Thus， on one hand， we can see pollution control④， and the air is clean. On the other hand， we can keep the balance of nature. Our world will be much more beautiful.
点评
1. 优点：
小作者首先说明污染已成为当今全球问题，继而说明空气、水、土壤的污染对人类和动物十分有害，接着列举事例来说明污染的原因以及它产生的严重后果，最后希望科学家们采取有效办法，控制污染，净化空气，保护生态平衡。全文语言通顺，语句连贯，句型富于变化，时态运用准确。
2. 需要修改的地方：
①becomes改为has become。此处用现在完成时更为妥当，表示污染已经成为一个全球性的严重问题。
② pollute改为polluted。此处应用过去分词形式作定语。
③ protect改为protecting。make a contribution to意为“为……作贡献”，其中to是介词，后接动词时必须用动词的-ing形式。
④ control改为controlled。此处表示污染被控制，应该用过去分词表示被动意味。
3. 评分：
按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准，本文修改前可得18分。
We don’t have fresh air because many factories sent the poisonous smoke into the air. Fish die from the pollute② water. It is said that some strange diseases have appeared in some places because of pollution.
I hope scientists can take useful steps to solve the serious problem and everyone can make a contribution to protect③ our environment. Thus， on one hand， we can see pollution control④， and the air is clean. On the other hand， we can keep the balance of nature. Our world will be much more beautiful.
点评
1. 优点：
小作者首先说明污染已成为当今全球问题，继而说明空气、水、土壤的污染对人类和动物十分有害，接着列举事例来说明污染的原因以及它产生的严重后果，最后希望科学家们采取有效办法，控制污染，净化空气，保护生态平衡。全文语言通顺，语句连贯，句型富于变化，时态运用准确。
2. 需要修改的地方：
①becomes改为has become。此处用现在完成时更为妥当，表示污染已经成为一个全球性的严重问题。
② pollute改为polluted。此处应用过去分词形式作定语。
③ protect改为protecting。make a contribution to意为“为……作贡献”，其中to是介词，后接动词时必须用动词的-ing形式。
④ control改为controlled。此处表示污染被控制，应该用过去分词表示被动意味。
3. 评分：
按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准，本文修改前可得18分。