原文秋叶里的怀念陕西西安工大附中孙振瑶走在街上,树叶发出萧萧瑟瑟的响声,像是在悲哀的哭泣。一阵风卷起金黄的落叶打在我的肩上,我不禁停下脚步,弯腰捡起一片落叶,放在手里,感受它的温度,似能找到一丝童年时的温度,能找回一丝我与姑妈的回忆。(这个句子过长,语义杂糅,可分为两句表达。其次,字句有重复,且过于直白,不够凝练含蓄。)一年四季,人各有所爱。年轻人喜爱春天,因为春天象征着生机活力;老年人喜欢夏天,因为每到夏夜,他们坐到树下可以给孩子们讲各种各样的故事, Original autumn leaves in the memory of Shaanxi Xi’an High School Affiliated to Sun Zhenyao walking in the street, the leaves rustle rustle, like a cry of sorrow. A gust of wind rolled golden leaves hitting my shoulders, I can not help but stop, bend over to pick up a leaf, put it in my hand and feel it’s temperature, it seems to find a hint of childhood temperature, can find a trace of me Memories with aunt (This sentence is too long, the semantic mix, can be divided into two expressions .Second, the words are repeated, and too straightforward, not concise and implicit.) All year round, people love each other. Young people love spring because spring symbolizes vitality; older people like summer, because every summer night, they sit under a tree to tell children a variety of stories,