论文部分内容阅读
学校的生活是丰富多彩的，同学们每天都会参予各种活动。那么，你的校园生活是什么样的呢？下面就请你以自己的校园生活为主题写一篇作文。要求：60~80词左右。
My School Life
Every day, I get up at 6:10. I have breakfast at 6:20. Then I go to school on foot.
My school start at 6:45. I like English best. Because I like my English teacher very much. She is Miss Yu. Her full name is Yu Xiu Rong. She is tall and smart. I study maths well. I often halp my friends. I like PE very much too. We play football. We are happy. After class, we play games. They are fun.
My school life end at 4:40. My school life is fun.
老师说：这位同学描述了自己一天的校园生活。我们来分析一下他的作文。首先start应该加s，学校是一个整体，应该用第三人称单数形式；Yu Xiu Rong是他老师的名字，姓的第一个字母需要大写，名的所有词要放在一起，而且首字母要大写，应改为Yu Xiurong；halp应该是“帮助”，属于单词书写错误，应为help; I like PE very much too.这句话没有语法错误，不过too与very much表示的意思在这里有些相近，而且very much在前面的句子中出现过，在英语中应该尽量避免重复使用一个词语，可以把very much去掉； 学校放学直接用My school ends就可以；通过前面的叙述可以看出作者在学校的生活丰富多彩，所以可以说成interesting，比fun表达得更具体。
这样作文看起来就舒服多了。下面是修改后的文章。
My School Life
Every day, I get up at 6:10. I have breakfast at 6:20. Then I go to school on foot.
My school starts at 6:45. I like English best. Because I like my English teacher very much. She is Miss Yu. Her full name is Yu Xiurong. She is tall and smart. I study maths well. I often help my friends with their maths. I like PE too. We play football on the playground. We are happy. After class, we play games. They are fun.
My school ends at 4:40. How interesting my school life is!
My School Life
Every day, I get up at 6:10. I have breakfast at 6:20. Then I go to school on foot.
My school start at 6:45. I like English best. Because I like my English teacher very much. She is Miss Yu. Her full name is Yu Xiu Rong. She is tall and smart. I study maths well. I often halp my friends. I like PE very much too. We play football. We are happy. After class, we play games. They are fun.
My school life end at 4:40. My school life is fun.
老师说：这位同学描述了自己一天的校园生活。我们来分析一下他的作文。首先start应该加s，学校是一个整体，应该用第三人称单数形式；Yu Xiu Rong是他老师的名字，姓的第一个字母需要大写，名的所有词要放在一起，而且首字母要大写，应改为Yu Xiurong；halp应该是“帮助”，属于单词书写错误，应为help; I like PE very much too.这句话没有语法错误，不过too与very much表示的意思在这里有些相近，而且very much在前面的句子中出现过，在英语中应该尽量避免重复使用一个词语，可以把very much去掉； 学校放学直接用My school ends就可以；通过前面的叙述可以看出作者在学校的生活丰富多彩，所以可以说成interesting，比fun表达得更具体。
这样作文看起来就舒服多了。下面是修改后的文章。
My School Life
Every day, I get up at 6:10. I have breakfast at 6:20. Then I go to school on foot.
My school starts at 6:45. I like English best. Because I like my English teacher very much. She is Miss Yu. Her full name is Yu Xiurong. She is tall and smart. I study maths well. I often help my friends with their maths. I like PE too. We play football on the playground. We are happy. After class, we play games. They are fun.
My school ends at 4:40. How interesting my school life is!