我的校园生活

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  学校的生活是丰富多彩的,同学们每天都会参予各种活动。那么,你的校园生活是什么样的呢?下面就请你以自己的校园生活为主题写一篇作文。要求:60~80词左右。
  
  My School Life
  Every day, I get up at 6:10. I have breakfast at 6:20. Then I go to school on foot.
  My school start at 6:45. I like English best. Because I like my English teacher very much. She is Miss Yu. Her full name is Yu Xiu Rong. She is tall and smart. I study maths well. I often halp my friends. I like PE very much too. We play football. We are happy. After class, we play games. They are fun.
  My school life end at 4:40. My school life is fun.
  
  老师说:这位同学描述了自己一天的校园生活。我们来分析一下他的作文。首先start应该加s,学校是一个整体,应该用第三人称单数形式;Yu Xiu Rong是他老师的名字,姓的第一个字母需要大写,名的所有词要放在一起,而且首字母要大写,应改为Yu Xiurong;halp应该是“帮助”,属于单词书写错误,应为help; I like PE very much too.这句话没有语法错误,不过too与very much表示的意思在这里有些相近,而且very much在前面的句子中出现过,在英语中应该尽量避免重复使用一个词语,可以把very much去掉; 学校放学直接用My school ends就可以;通过前面的叙述可以看出作者在学校的生活丰富多彩,所以可以说成interesting,比fun表达得更具体。
  这样作文看起来就舒服多了。下面是修改后的文章。
  
  My School Life
   Every day, I get up at 6:10. I have breakfast at 6:20. Then I go to school on foot.
  My school starts at 6:45. I like English best. Because I like my English teacher very much. She is Miss Yu. Her full name is Yu Xiurong. She is tall and smart. I study maths well. I often help my friends with their maths. I like PE too. We play football on the playground. We are happy. After class, we play games. They are fun.
  My school ends at 4:40. How interesting my school life is!
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